Monster Sandwich

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Why do we write?

Why do we write?  Why do we care?  My life and my goals are always present but at times I don’t know how to reconcile the two.  Those I hold close go away and those who I tell myself cares about me are liars just as I am a liar.  The need is always present, for me to rescue, for me to save, to make this a better place for anyone but myself.

It is odd how just a few life events can shape an entire existence.  How they can determine my choices, both good and bad.  The light brings all my discretions to air, brings them about for others to see, for them to judge.  You may ask what my preoccupation with justice is, why I care, and yet I judge myself so harshly.  It is to the point that those who once cared about me can even use my own sense of justice against me.  I become a target for those who want to lash out, for those who want to hurt, and I absorb this and allow it inside my head.  These thoughts are as welcome as my own self-doubt, my indiscretions as a father, as a lover, as a soul.

Part of me wants to go back, to go to whichever war needs fighting, and to lose myself in the destruction, perhaps over there I can save someone, for I am already lost.  My soul is the one untouchable thing that I cannot destroy, it can be cracked and torn, filthy and unwanted by all around, but it is something that nobody can take from me.  My only true possessions are the thoughts in my head and my soul.  I’m good at finding things, at breaking things, and at learning.  My skillset travels with me as I journey through this life.  My goals are still unmet and I will not leave this earth without reaching at least part of those, if not all.

As I was saying before, like others, my life is shaped by a few events which have affected me, events that I want to control and which end up controlling me in their own way.  I want to be loved and to love, to have life and to live.  I will find these things eventually and perhaps someday it will be said that I was a good father, if nothing else in this life I want that…

My two Heroes

Will’s Fall

My little brother will’s fall from grace. I love him but being his big brother I need to troll him a bit 🙂

That being said he is one hell of a great little brother and he puts up with my antics.

Tampa VA Medical Center

I am a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I served for 2 years over 3 deployments to Iraq and after getting out found myself in Tampa where I now call home. Upon registering with the Tampa VA Medical center I was told that all combat vets from OIF or OEF would receive 5 years of medical care at no cost to the veteran, this was mandated by congress (you can read about this benefit here). Shortly after going to the Tampa VA Medical center I began to receive bills for my visits. I promptly called and they stated that the problem was corrected, this was in 2008 to 2009, over the course of many phone calls, and a few personal visits this problem compounded until I was receiving notices that my outstanding bill would be sent to a collection agency. I had enough at this point. I called the hospital and spoke to a Vincent P. Conti who was a Patient Advocate for OIF and OEF veterans. The collection harassment stopped after he told me I had to get off of work, come in and then spend most of the day walking from office to office by Vincent as I was given the run around. By the end of the day the problem was corrected. Shortly after this incident I re-deployed to Iraq and upon my return I was told by the Tampa VA Medical center that (and I had made it clear to them before I deployed that I was going to be in Iraq but would be returning) I was no longer in their system as being an active patient. They had unassigned me from my doctor and from my medical team (you are assigned to a team when you register, I was in Bravo Team). So what did this mean? I had no primary care physician, they couldn’t (and haven’t been able as of yet and this is now March 2011) reassign me to a team so now my option as a combat veteran for when I get sick is to go to the ER and wait for triage. There is no being able to call in or to be seen by the same doctor every visit. I now avoid going there at all costs, unfortunately a few months ago I became very ill on a Friday afternoon, so like I mentioned before, I had to go to the ER rather than being able to make an appointment. This visit lasted most of the night due to the fact that I waited for triage (from about 6 pm to about 3 am or so). Once again I called today to try and make an appointment, I was told my only option is to go to the ER rather than being assigned to a medical team or seeing a non ER doctor. This is how we treat our vets? I am ashamed by this level of service and lack of respect or care.

Sincerely,
Zachary Scott-Singley

The 3rd year of the Renaissance Festival in Tampa

Life sure has been busy; I’ve been away from things for quite a while.  Going to night school, being a single father, and working fulltime take their toll.  I was fortunate enough to be able to take kind of a working vacation recently so I do feel a bit recharged; however, I am ready to be done with my school courses.  Last weekend I took my children to the Renaissance Festival here once again (this is our 3rd year in a row).  We had a blast.  My son found himself (now that he is finally a teenager) ogling the girls, and my daughter and I had fun playing with all the medieval toys and puzzles.  We spent almost seven hours there eating, playing, and watching all the amazing shows.

 

The Knights were awesome, they had full contact jousting, breaking their lances on each other and smashing their swords into their opponent’s full plate mail.  We watched as their Clydesdales around the arena also dressed in full plate armor.  I was selected by the King and Queen to pose in the “Men in Kilts” calendar, so if I end up making the cut I will post the link to purchase them on my blog here.  Overall it was an amazing experience.  I love how I am building multi-year traditions with my children; I feel that this will be a cherished memory by both me and my kiddos.

 

Just some pics I have been taking…