Archive for the ‘ Writing ’ Category

Time to write again

Something that I believe I’ve never appreciated when I was younger was the concept of simplistic and understandable communication.  While in school (especially middle school and high school) I believed that more was better.  Rather than boiling my ideas or concepts into their most fundamental and basic structure I would use complicated and unnecessary language to appear to have a LOT to say about something which often was very simple.

 

While communicating clearly is a valuable tool, the ability to make something beautiful can complement an important message as long as you choose to use techniques (be they written words, powerful quotes, or interesting videos) to make your message more impactful.  When I was in the military my words carried their own gravitas.  This was, in my opinion, because of the historic time of my writing, as well as the emotion I was conveying.  Since then, I have not felt the same motivation to write and communicate on a personal level.  Part of this is due to my own struggle with what happened to as a soldier and what Iraq represented for me.  Having some distance from that time and from the complicated and nuanced mental (and physical) luggage I was encumbered by, I now have greater appreciation for what I went through when I was such a young man.

 

Now, you may be asking yourself why I’m writing this (ironically over-complicated) message.  I am also asking myself why I am writing, and I believe I have my answer.  I am writing simply to write.  Over the last decade or so I’ve written quite a bit, but post Iraq most of my writing has been for work or college.  Writing for myself was one of the most cathartic things I have ever done, but we (I’m using the royal we when I really mean I here) often make excuses to do those things which are good for us.  The same holds true for working out (for me).  Speaking of working out, I’ve begun swimming 1000 meters about 2 times a week.  Never have I liked running so swimming is a great mental compromise for my cardio health.

 

Perhaps you have enjoyed my writing in the past (and maybe you are even enjoying this rambling piece), while I do write for your sake I want to make it clear that on a much deeper and meaningful level I actually write for myself and my own sake.  My children have even enjoyed a bit of my fiction writing and have asked me to finish the story I once began for them.  Perhaps with that too, I will find my motivation and finish it, or who knows, I could begin a new story and see where such a story takes me.  If you have made it this far then you may be wondering where my simple and concise message is.  Perhaps someday I will get to such a message, but for today you will have to accept this instead.

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Why do we write?

Why do we write?  Why do we care?  My life and my goals are always present but at times I don’t know how to reconcile the two.  Those I hold close go away and those who I tell myself cares about me are liars just as I am a liar.  The need is always present, for me to rescue, for me to save, to make this a better place for anyone but myself.

It is odd how just a few life events can shape an entire existence.  How they can determine my choices, both good and bad.  The light brings all my discretions to air, brings them about for others to see, for them to judge.  You may ask what my preoccupation with justice is, why I care, and yet I judge myself so harshly.  It is to the point that those who once cared about me can even use my own sense of justice against me.  I become a target for those who want to lash out, for those who want to hurt, and I absorb this and allow it inside my head.  These thoughts are as welcome as my own self-doubt, my indiscretions as a father, as a lover, as a soul.

Part of me wants to go back, to go to whichever war needs fighting, and to lose myself in the destruction, perhaps over there I can save someone, for I am already lost.  My soul is the one untouchable thing that I cannot destroy, it can be cracked and torn, filthy and unwanted by all around, but it is something that nobody can take from me.  My only true possessions are the thoughts in my head and my soul.  I’m good at finding things, at breaking things, and at learning.  My skillset travels with me as I journey through this life.  My goals are still unmet and I will not leave this earth without reaching at least part of those, if not all.

As I was saying before, like others, my life is shaped by a few events which have affected me, events that I want to control and which end up controlling me in their own way.  I want to be loved and to love, to have life and to live.  I will find these things eventually and perhaps someday it will be said that I was a good father, if nothing else in this life I want that…

The New Super Heroes Are Coming to Internets Near You!

The world is at stake, we need new heroes.  Who will provide them. Where do heroes come from? Will they save us?

These questions and more will be answered in the as yet un-named comic book being created by Zach and Kids in the massive collaborative art project utilizing paint, intellect and imagination.

An object is heading towards earth, its scale is massive and it is as yet undetected.  How can this be? Even in this modern age something of this size could go through our atmosphere with no notice as it smashes into the mountains and leaks its innards onto this planet.  What does it contain? How will this alien substance affect us?  As strange things begin to happen and as new villans and heroes compete for the fate of the planet we must ask, will we be saved? Will what is left be worth saving?

Stay tuned for this amazing Comic book coming to the internets near you!

Zach & Kids…

Life is adventure, and fear…

Days blend to weeks and weeks to years.  We often find ourselves feeling spent and done with.  I feel that way lately, stressed about school, about work, and about the finalizing of my divorce.  Not to mention bills and such.  Then I look at life, look at those around me, the strangers I see pass me by.  They too are living life.  This stressful world we live in is wonderful, difficult, and absurd all at the same time.

The things that happen to us, part of me believes that there is a reason for everything, but the other side of that coin is that there must be some level of chaos, of unpredictability.  I get lost in it all, but I also think that is the point of life as well.  People talk of thriving, of never having a care in the world.  I am content right now to keep my head afloat, and in a few weeks or months I will be sailing again on the choppy and wonderfully unpredictable sea of life.

One last thing… something my father once told me.  There are always choices.  You can do anything you want to.  You just need to do it.  People travel the world on less money than I have, they build wonders and write of their adventures.  There are very few real excuses to be made.  Me?  I will take life one day at a time, but with my eye on my goals.  I never want to lose sight of my dreams entirely.  So next time the waves cover my head, I will remember that the surface is above me, all I need to do is swim back up to it.  Sometimes easier said than done, but that is indeed life.

My children

This weekend we saw dragon boats, we made art and we ate delicious food.  My children are what keeps me going.  I miss them so much when they are with their mother but at the same time I know that she misses them just as much when they are with me.  My daughter is every bit as daring as I ever was, hell, she climbed a lamp-post when I had my back turned for a minute.  My son is sarcastic and intelligent as I remember being as a young pre-teen.  He can keep up with you in a discussion and his wit can often get him into a little trouble 😉
These are my children.  I love them, they are every bit a part of me as is my own arm.  I am proud of them and grateful to God for allowing someone such as myself to be able to have such wonderful children in my life.  I am a proud father, a man who wants to be the best he can be so that his children can one day grow up and remember me as a positive influence in their lives.  I love them.

Read my daughter’s thoughts on the 5k we ran today

So my daughter wrote about her first 5k today.  Yes, I ran in a kilt and have a couple pics of proof that I’ll post later.  Here is her story (also found under the story tab at the top of the blog (click on “the race” below):

The Race

A little more to the story

I added a little more to my short story:

https://nevadog.wordpress.com/stories/short-story/

Tell me what you think…