Posts Tagged ‘ kids ’

Why do we write?

Why do we write?  Why do we care?  My life and my goals are always present but at times I don’t know how to reconcile the two.  Those I hold close go away and those who I tell myself cares about me are liars just as I am a liar.  The need is always present, for me to rescue, for me to save, to make this a better place for anyone but myself.

It is odd how just a few life events can shape an entire existence.  How they can determine my choices, both good and bad.  The light brings all my discretions to air, brings them about for others to see, for them to judge.  You may ask what my preoccupation with justice is, why I care, and yet I judge myself so harshly.  It is to the point that those who once cared about me can even use my own sense of justice against me.  I become a target for those who want to lash out, for those who want to hurt, and I absorb this and allow it inside my head.  These thoughts are as welcome as my own self-doubt, my indiscretions as a father, as a lover, as a soul.

Part of me wants to go back, to go to whichever war needs fighting, and to lose myself in the destruction, perhaps over there I can save someone, for I am already lost.  My soul is the one untouchable thing that I cannot destroy, it can be cracked and torn, filthy and unwanted by all around, but it is something that nobody can take from me.  My only true possessions are the thoughts in my head and my soul.  I’m good at finding things, at breaking things, and at learning.  My skillset travels with me as I journey through this life.  My goals are still unmet and I will not leave this earth without reaching at least part of those, if not all.

As I was saying before, like others, my life is shaped by a few events which have affected me, events that I want to control and which end up controlling me in their own way.  I want to be loved and to love, to have life and to live.  I will find these things eventually and perhaps someday it will be said that I was a good father, if nothing else in this life I want that…

2011
07/02
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
Completely Random
Dream
family
fear
kids
Writing
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The 3rd year of the Renaissance Festival in Tampa

Life sure has been busy; I’ve been away from things for quite a while.  Going to night school, being a single father, and working fulltime take their toll.  I was fortunate enough to be able to take kind of a working vacation recently so I do feel a bit recharged; however, I am ready to be done with my school courses.  Last weekend I took my children to the Renaissance Festival here once again (this is our 3rd year in a row).  We had a blast.  My son found himself (now that he is finally a teenager) ogling the girls, and my daughter and I had fun playing with all the medieval toys and puzzles.  We spent almost seven hours there eating, playing, and watching all the amazing shows.

 

The Knights were awesome, they had full contact jousting, breaking their lances on each other and smashing their swords into their opponent’s full plate mail.  We watched as their Clydesdales around the arena also dressed in full plate armor.  I was selected by the King and Queen to pose in the “Men in Kilts” calendar, so if I end up making the cut I will post the link to purchase them on my blog here.  Overall it was an amazing experience.  I love how I am building multi-year traditions with my children; I feel that this will be a cherished memory by both me and my kiddos.

 

2011
03/01
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
Animals
Art
family
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Just some pics I have been taking…

2011
01/19
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
Art
Completely Random
photography
pics
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The Gun Range

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I took my kids to the gun range.  Both of them were excellent shots, my daughter seems to have a knack for my 22 long rifle. They both fired the .9 mm handgun as well.  Here are their targets.  My son’s were the silhouette and the zombie, my daughter’s were the two standard targets.

2010
12/12
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
family
kids
Shooting
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R2D2 for Halloween

My daughter wanted to be R2D2 for Halloween so we made it from a trashcan

2010
10/03
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
Art
kids
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New Videos of Baby Ducks and the Turtle

My kids and I caught some awesome footage of baby ducks and we saved a turtle, come check out the videos we filmed:

2010
06/30
CATEGORY
Animals
College
kids
School
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The New Super Heroes Are Coming to Internets Near You!

The world is at stake, we need new heroes.  Who will provide them. Where do heroes come from? Will they save us?

These questions and more will be answered in the as yet un-named comic book being created by Zach and Kids in the massive collaborative art project utilizing paint, intellect and imagination.

An object is heading towards earth, its scale is massive and it is as yet undetected.  How can this be? Even in this modern age something of this size could go through our atmosphere with no notice as it smashes into the mountains and leaks its innards onto this planet.  What does it contain? How will this alien substance affect us?  As strange things begin to happen and as new villans and heroes compete for the fate of the planet we must ask, will we be saved? Will what is left be worth saving?

Stay tuned for this amazing Comic book coming to the internets near you!

Zach & Kids…

2010
06/11
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
Art
Comic Books
family
kids
Writing
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Life is adventure, and fear…

Days blend to weeks and weeks to years.  We often find ourselves feeling spent and done with.  I feel that way lately, stressed about school, about work, and about the finalizing of my divorce.  Not to mention bills and such.  Then I look at life, look at those around me, the strangers I see pass me by.  They too are living life.  This stressful world we live in is wonderful, difficult, and absurd all at the same time.

The things that happen to us, part of me believes that there is a reason for everything, but the other side of that coin is that there must be some level of chaos, of unpredictability.  I get lost in it all, but I also think that is the point of life as well.  People talk of thriving, of never having a care in the world.  I am content right now to keep my head afloat, and in a few weeks or months I will be sailing again on the choppy and wonderfully unpredictable sea of life.

One last thing… something my father once told me.  There are always choices.  You can do anything you want to.  You just need to do it.  People travel the world on less money than I have, they build wonders and write of their adventures.  There are very few real excuses to be made.  Me?  I will take life one day at a time, but with my eye on my goals.  I never want to lose sight of my dreams entirely.  So next time the waves cover my head, I will remember that the surface is above me, all I need to do is swim back up to it.  Sometimes easier said than done, but that is indeed life.

2010
05/13
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
College
Completely Random
Writing
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My children

This weekend we saw dragon boats, we made art and we ate delicious food.  My children are what keeps me going.  I miss them so much when they are with their mother but at the same time I know that she misses them just as much when they are with me.  My daughter is every bit as daring as I ever was, hell, she climbed a lamp-post when I had my back turned for a minute.  My son is sarcastic and intelligent as I remember being as a young pre-teen.  He can keep up with you in a discussion and his wit can often get him into a little trouble 😉
These are my children.  I love them, they are every bit a part of me as is my own arm.  I am proud of them and grateful to God for allowing someone such as myself to be able to have such wonderful children in my life.  I am a proud father, a man who wants to be the best he can be so that his children can one day grow up and remember me as a positive influence in their lives.  I love them.
2010
05/03
CATEGORY
kids
Writing
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Rough Weeks behind me…

It is odd what the world brings.  What life will deliver to you.  Odd how hard life can be.  Regardless of what you have on your plate as an adult you are never able to shirk your responsibility to your children.  Grin and bare it is what I do.  When you feel like life has raked you over the coals you don’t let the hurt show in your face as you hold your children.  They will learn soon enough on the grand scale that life is not fair, so in the meanwhile you spare them those hardships that keep you awake at night.

You can see broken people everyday, hell, I see one every time I look in the mirror but life goes on and you show your children that you love them every way you can.  I have gone through mediation with my ex and I am still alive and ticking, a little worse for wear but still up and walking.  On top of all that there will always be the ghosts of Iraq that seem to haunt me from my time in the Army.

I am not trying to bring any of you down, I am just speaking from my heart, telling you where my head is and my priorities.  Regardless of all that is said and done, your children are your priorities.  I will have mine this coming weekend and we will have a good time, a smile will be on my face and it will come naturally.  They will always make me smile, the best I do will never be good enough, but the love I have for my kids is genuine and in that I am content.

2010
04/13
CATEGORY
A little bit of everything
fear
kids
sad
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zach@nevadog.com

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