Archive for May, 2010

Life is adventure, and fear…

Days blend to weeks and weeks to years.  We often find ourselves feeling spent and done with.  I feel that way lately, stressed about school, about work, and about the finalizing of my divorce.  Not to mention bills and such.  Then I look at life, look at those around me, the strangers I see pass me by.  They too are living life.  This stressful world we live in is wonderful, difficult, and absurd all at the same time.

The things that happen to us, part of me believes that there is a reason for everything, but the other side of that coin is that there must be some level of chaos, of unpredictability.  I get lost in it all, but I also think that is the point of life as well.  People talk of thriving, of never having a care in the world.  I am content right now to keep my head afloat, and in a few weeks or months I will be sailing again on the choppy and wonderfully unpredictable sea of life.

One last thing… something my father once told me.  There are always choices.  You can do anything you want to.  You just need to do it.  People travel the world on less money than I have, they build wonders and write of their adventures.  There are very few real excuses to be made.  Me?  I will take life one day at a time, but with my eye on my goals.  I never want to lose sight of my dreams entirely.  So next time the waves cover my head, I will remember that the surface is above me, all I need to do is swim back up to it.  Sometimes easier said than done, but that is indeed life.

My children

This weekend we saw dragon boats, we made art and we ate delicious food.  My children are what keeps me going.  I miss them so much when they are with their mother but at the same time I know that she misses them just as much when they are with me.  My daughter is every bit as daring as I ever was, hell, she climbed a lamp-post when I had my back turned for a minute.  My son is sarcastic and intelligent as I remember being as a young pre-teen.  He can keep up with you in a discussion and his wit can often get him into a little trouble 😉
These are my children.  I love them, they are every bit a part of me as is my own arm.  I am proud of them and grateful to God for allowing someone such as myself to be able to have such wonderful children in my life.  I am a proud father, a man who wants to be the best he can be so that his children can one day grow up and remember me as a positive influence in their lives.  I love them.