When the kids leave…

Maybe other single fathers can tell me if they get the same feeling, but for me I am so very excited and happy when I have my kids.  I plan whole weekends full of fun, sometimes it is expensive, but mostly it is free.  Motorcycle rides with them, video games, writing together as a family and such.  I love them with my whole heart and now we come to the hard part.

They have to leave, it hurts every time.  I don’t show them how upset I am because I know that spending time with their mother is just as important but she gets them most of the time.  It is just hard any way you look at it.  This roller coaster of emotions I am sure is similar to what my children feel when they go between our houses.  To their credit though, they are doing so very well.  I am so damn proud of how they are handling the whole situation and I love them with all my heart.

Why does it have to be so hard?  I go from these amazing high feelings with my kids to feeling so sad when they go.  Like someone turned all the electricity to my home and what once was a bustling energetic home is now kind of an empty shell.  I am sure it gets easier with time but for now it is just hard…

I can’t help but compare my decisions and my life to that of my father at these times.  He left my mother and was still an amazing father and I love him with all my heart.  While he could have, he never had a single bad thing to say about my mother and for that I had so much more respect for him.  I strive to be that kind of father and so far I have succeeded.  I love my children and want the best for them.  I will be the best father I know how to be, I am just Zach, nothing more, nothing less.

    • Katrina
    • November 21st, 2009

    Being a single father and that involved in your kids life makes you that much more amazing too them.Im sure they are so happy you didnt walk away when you and there mother split up.
    It will get it easier in time im sure of it and i think you should express your feelings to them because they may be feeling the same and just dont know if their able to express it.

    • Meridythe
    • December 13th, 2009

    I know the feeling. My ex still has custody of Jimmy and it’s so fucking hard to let him go.

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